Home again

So, I don't know how many of you will check this any more seeing that I'm home. But I was prompted by the Spirit and others to post-post some thoughts and impressions I have had because of or since my mission.
As you can imagine, 18 months of intense spiritual growth can be a bit daunting to put into words. This is probably why I my first journal entry in the two weeks I've been home was last night. But I will make an effort though like Ammon "I can not say the smallest part of which I feel."

Important lessons that I learned from the Holy Ghost and personal experience:

Agency is an eternal gift given to us that is directly linked with accountability. Our lives are made up of choices that bring us either closer to or farther away from God. Light and darkness, in all things. Each of us will be personally judged based on that incredible power we have been given over circumstance. Agency is never taken only forfeited by the one who possesses it.

Love is the only motivation for change and it is the source of the Light that draws us to God. Love is the only thing that will change people, inside and out. Perfect love casts out fear. The ultimate expression of love is the Savior's Atonement which deserves a post of it's own. I won't even try to explain my experiences and increased testimony regarding that subject in this simple bullet point style madness.

Most if not all of the worlds problems (as necessary as they are for progress) are a result of people not wanting to change. This is the fear that love banishes. Fear of change. Addiction to sin. The Atonement (pure love) is the only thing that can fix it, if they WILL.

Faith Works. Faith works hard. The Lord knows that our legs are not painted on. He gives us our gifts and talents so that we can use them. Because faith is a gift that is worked for it only grows when it is being used. Thus why revelation that God is real, or any eternal truth, comes when we exercise our faith in sincere prayer or obedience.

By the power of the Holy Ghost, we can know the truth of ALL things.
It didn't happen to me that often but I know I have heard other missionaries tell stories about how the Spirit revealed a detail of an investigator's life that caused them to answer their main objection to the church. To me, this principle was taught to me more subtlety and the Spirit's whispering came to me by way of logic, deduction, and I guess just gut feelings. Those gifts that I spoke of in the above paragraph.

All things are related and connected. Each principle discussed in this brief outline runs through and over the other, over and over. Making the gospel the one true thing that never changes and never gets boring.

These things I know and love in the name of Jesus Christ.
Amen.

E-mail - February 5, 2008

"It's the final countdown or so Sister Besso says. There is a lot going on, a lot to do and a lot I have to leave until the last minute. Tomorrow morning we will get the 09:23 train to London Liverpool Street Station for the awkward ritual of swapping companions. After that I don't really have any idea what will happen to me. Something about dinner at the mission home and there is a shadow of a plane ticket or something. I'm kind of glad I've been left in the dark. There must be an awful lot of people praying for me because "I am as calm as a summer's morning". I don't have any regrets that is for sure. The only guilt I feel is the amount of people (from my mission) I need to write and haven't had the time to . To be honest it doesn't feel real. I've just been carrying on as usual. Sister Besso was teasing me yesterday, "You don't really live everyday like it's your last, more like you live everyday like your 9 months out." I will miss her. I will miss a lot of these things. But it's not like I have the opportunity to because, it's here, right here is the best place to be right now. God is showing me a lot and it's only when I think about it that I get scared. So I don't. Hope you are all prepared to engage me in intense selfless activity.

I have had a really great last week. The Cambridge Sisters are going to rock and roll. We have found some really solid people. And Sister McPhee and Marion are doing so well. She takes every opportunity to bear her testimony. We took her teaching on Saturday and it was so perfect. Sharon was speaking purely by the Spirit and said everything just right for this brother that we saw, Ade. It was a wonderful experience. I love being a missionary. I am learning that, yes, I would be thrilled if I could do this forever, but I won't. It's strange how unemotional all of it is. All of the missionaries bore their testimonies on Sunday. Mine was longer than normal but I wasn't even choked up. It's just another moves in my mind. I love this ward.

Sister Bidwell is coming to replace me. She will be great. She just spent six months with her trainer in Britannia, unusual. But what is normal on a mission? I have had nine companions, and five areas. Sister Miller is going to Ilford, she'll love it and Sister MtNonishi is going to die in Milton Keynes. Elder Smith is going to Bury St. Edmunds and I don't really know who else I will see at Liverpool Street. You don't really care about all of that do you? I guess we can talk about it later.

I saw a dog this morning and thought it was Lucy. It made me smile.

I don't know if it's really healthy how calm I am about all of this. I hope it doesn't all hit me at once when I actually do get home. I'm planning on applying at the MTC, cycling, and going to the temple daily. Beyond that, I don't know. I will need a lot to do so you can get your February list out. I don't really have anything to respond to so I guess I'll just see you soon. Love you a lot. Sister Cannon"